Notes on a Thought

Since age 12, when my best friend introduced me to indie music, I have felt the urgent need to be different, to stand out. Over time this has mutated, eventually becoming a paradox of deep insecurity and raging superiority complex. In many ways, the need to be different has served as a driving force for character development. In my search for originality, I have discovered authentic interests which I may not have done otherwise. But at the same time, this need has caused frequent, debilitating self-criticism. Wanting to be different, for me, results, in the constant comparison of myself to my peers. Comparison refers to appearance, style, music taste, hobbies and lifestyle. If I like something someone else presents, for example an outfit they wear, I can’t just appreciate it. Instead, my brain decides that this is a direct attack on my sense of self. If I am not doing what others are doing or doing it better, then they are better than me and I am no longer good enough. In the age of so...

Hi !! <3 I'm Jeevan, I'm a student studying English Literature and in desperate need of a creative outlet. Like most people, quarantine has driven me to pursue creativity. Blogging appealed as an easily accessible means of doing so. I’ve not written freely, outside of my degree, so the idea of starting a blog is daunting. But, I’m consumed with this idea that I must start something, and this is that! I want to use this space to share a few notes on some thoughts. Just some stuff from my brain, in some sensical way. :)